Downtown Boys
by Glue Stick Gary
Summary: The Triple Changers are now humans, and must function properly in a world of crazy fleshy females, maintaining healthy body hygiene, caffeine and the deadly deadline of paying the rent monthly. G1 Astrotrain and Blitzwing.
1. Starbucks

**Summary**: The Triple Changers are now humans, and must function properly in a world of crazy fleshy females, maintaining healthy body hygiene, caffeine and the deadly deadline of paying the rent monthly. G1 Astrotrain and Blitzwing.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Transformers. Wish I did though.

**Author's Comments: **The triple changers have always been my favorite Transformers. I wanted to experiment with the characters and the plot that I'm setting up. My first 'Transformers turned human' story. This is my For Fun story. So Please Enjoy! Oh and please review!

* * *

Astrotrain shoved his stinging hands into the warmth of his jacket pockets, narrowing his eyes into glaring slits. In his past life of metal, circuits and triple changing, weather was never a problem for the military transport. His metal hide was specially equipped with dealing with very high or extremely low temperatures from entering and exiting various atmospheres.

He had to squint to see though the white haze of falling snow to see the outline of the Starbucks logo. It taunted him somehow, large and dominant, like he used to be. The intensity of his glare heightened and he remained completely reluctant to enter such a disgusting human building.

He then started shivering.

* * *

Blitzwing was furious, seething silently. Suddenly finding himself in a body of flesh, bones and everything in between made him want to transform into tank mode, and completely annihilate everything in sight.

But he couldn't transform, and that realization only made him madder. He was stripped of everything he was so very used to having in the clutches of his merciless digits.

Now he couldn't even blast the smallest of the Autobots.

The ex-Triple changer brushed his blond hair behind his ear, finally fed up with it tickling his forehead. Everything about his new situation was pissing him off, and waiting for Astrotrain couldn't be more mentally agonizing. Blitzwing turned to face the window, peering though his red visor sunglasses. The snow storm had picked up again, the wind violently aimed the snow in frantic directions.

A little bell above the Starbucks door was there to announce that someone new had entered the coffee shop. Blitzwing converted his glare to fix on the new comer, and couldn't suppress a sadistic chuckle. A familiar man came stomping in, soaking from the top of his dirty blonde head to the toe of his grey and purple boots. Blitzwing instantly knew it was Astrotrain, and about ten percent of his anger melted away along with the snow that decorated the former shuttle-train. Seeing Astrotrain in a worse state than he was made him feel a little bit better about himself, and he could make fun of 'Train if he was really in the mood.

From across the shop Astrotrain franticly brushed the snow from his outfit, dug it out of his pockets and sneered at a passing lady.

Blitzwing sat up straight, wondering if Astrotrain could spot him first if he made himself somewhat visual. Astrotrain stood to the side to allow people the opportunity to enter and leave the café. He was tall just like Blitzwing, possibly the tallest of any human inside Starbucks. Blitzwing subtle smirk vanished and morphed into a sneer. What the slag was he doing now?

Astrotrain was awkwardly peeling away his clothing, pulling off his jacket and undershirts all in one go. He had it pulled halfway over his shoulders, exposing a well toned stomach. Blitzwing decided to intervene for some of the pathetic fleshy females were beginning to watch and comment, giggling all the while.

"Hey! Soaking slagger!"

Astrotrain stopped, his head hidden in many folds and layers of soaked fabric. Some of the girls in the café turned and directed their attention to Blitzwing, and even a couple of them had the stupid nerve to giggle and even call him "cute". Blitzwing growled.

"What are you all looking at!?" he barked. "Mind your own fragging business!" All eyes and unwanted attention was quickly off Blitzwing, returning to what ever the stupid humans were doing before.

"Why did you pick such a repulsive place to meet!?" Astrotrain was coming up to Blitzwing's table now, in his shirtless glory.

"Suck it up, you complain too much." Astrotrain scoffed but settled himself down. Now that he was seated across from Blitzwing, they both shared a moment looking at each other.

"Primus, you're ugly."

"Slag off, Blitzwing."

Blitzwing chuckled darkly while Astrotrain eyed the front registered, where all the cakes and cookies were stored behind display. His hunger was on its loudest volume, something in his body twisting and growling, ordering him to eat something soon or suffer the consequences.

Without saying a word, he abruptly sprang out of booth and glided towards the cashier. Blitzwing right eyebrow rose in suspicion but he decided to watch. Hopefully, Astrotrain would make a fool of himself. The other triple changer quickly came up to the delicious display and took a minute to contemplate which pastry to buy for himself. He _was _hungry after all.

"Um…excuse me, sir." Astrotrain looked towards the flesh creature that addressed him. She was small and timid, not even worth his time to talk to.

"What is it?" He snapped.

The cashier glanced back to her co-workers for reassurance or emotional back up, but they acted like they were busy.

"Uh…our policy. You can't really…"

"Spit it out already. I don't have all day."

"N-no…No shirt no service! You can't buy anything here without having a shirt on."

Astrotrain straightened to his full height, anger stated to flicker and dance inside his chest somewhere, like the flare of a lighter. What is this human doing? She can't tell him what to do.

"That's a stupid policy. I just want to buy-"

"I'm sorry sir," a new employee came up beside the woman. He was defiantly older than the woman and Astrotrain himself, (even if he didn't exactly know his human age) and his eyes didn't both to hide his dislike for Astrotrain.

He rested his hand on her shoulder. "But either you find something to wear or please leave this store."

Astrotrain narrowed his eyes, and let the little flickering flame flare into a wild bond fire. He curled his hand into a fist and considered whether to directly punch him in the nose, or nail him under the chin.

His arm twitched, but he relaxed and dismissed the temptation. Maybe next time…when he was leaving maybe?

Grunting, he turned on his heel and made his way back to Blitzwing. The former tank-jet rudely laughed at him, pointed a gloved finger at him. Astrotrain snarled, opened his mouth to reply with something verbally nasty, and stopped. An idea pried its self into the spotlight and Astrotrain decided to roll with it. Quickly, he snatched up Blitzwing's hand and aggressively yanked him out of his chair.

"Give me your jacket!" Astrotrain embraced Blitzwing in a headlock with one arm, while the other hand tried to rip off his jacket. Blitzwing thrashed side to side, hands clawing at anything they touched.

The fight was declared after that, although nobody announced it.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later the triple changers were kicked out of Starbucks. They were lucky enough to evade the cops. The fight between the two wasn't anything special, they did something like that all the time. It comes with being a Decepticon. It's the normal way of life in the Nemesis.

Astrotrain's cloths were still soaked and started to smell, but he was very satisfied with wearing Blitzwing's jacket. The other triple changer was browsing though a gamer's magazine that was left at their table. After being kicked out and banished from Starbucks, they decided to go another one down the street.

"We need human names," Astrotrain comment quietly. Blitzwing looked up from a game review and nodded.

"I was just thinking that. We need to get birth certificates, health cards and all that slag. Humans are confusing."

Astrotrain nodded, and cleared his throat. He still wasn't entirely comfortable with his new body. It was like being overcharged, minus all the mechanical stimuli. Everything felt foreign and bizarre. In addition, he was weak. His former body was a fortress, it had to take a lot to bring him down from a battle. Now, being human, he had to be careful about everything. Flesh creatures were so delicate and mushy.

"How about Leon Kennedy?"

Astrotrain's thoughts flickered away as Blitzwing's rough voice pierced though it. Astrotrain blinked.

"What?"

"A human name, smart aft. How about Leon Kennedy? For me?"

Leon Kennedy… Astrotrain looked intently into Blitzwing's face and seriously considered the name. Did the name match the face and personality?

"No. Find another name, slag sucker."

Blitzwing grumbled but returned to skimming the magazine aimlessly. Astrotrain's once soaked pants were now damp and livable thanks to the warm atmosphere of the coffee shop.

Astrotrain rubbed at his pants and he brought up the issues that clouded the background of his mind.

"We need to find jobs, or else we'll loose our residence."

"I'm working on that."

"We also need to buy human fuel. We're low in supply."

"We'll do that later."

"Most importantly, "Astrotrain growled and snatched up the magazine from Blitzwing. Blitzwing yelped a protest and his hand lashed out, grabbing Astrotrain by the collar. He dragged Astrotrain in towards him, bearing his white teeth in a scornful sneer.

Astrotrain didn't react like Blitzwing wanted to, he only stared at him blankly. Another fight would had taken his mid off being human…take his mind off everything. They stayed like that for a minute, uttering nothing. But Astrotrain broke the silence after a moment.

"We need to get our bodies back. I _hate _being human. I hate everything. My body, my lack of scenes, my _voice. _Being a human is so _boring! _" Blitzwing's sudden anger washed away and left an emotionless expression. His fingers loosened up and released the fabric. Astrotrain leaned back in his chair and underhanded the magazine. Effortlessly catching it, Blitzwing opened it back to where he left off.

Astrotrain watched him and waited.

"We'll do that in the morning. We have to try and contact base first."

Blitzwing received a nod from Astrotrain and the subject was temporarily dropped.

After five minutes of silence, Blitzwing finally had a name.

"I know what name I want now."

"Go ahead."

"Tyler McCauley."

Astrotrain repeated the name, experiencing the flavor of the syllables and the ring of the name.

"Eh, it's good enough."

"Good enough for Blitzwing. It's better than any name you will ever come up with."

Astrotrain sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Shut up, just _shut up_. Go back to reading your stupid magazine."

Blitzwing chuckled and did so. Astrotrain was having trouble with this human stuff, but it seemed completely easy to him. Yeah, he couldn't deny everything was different but he was sturdy and he was strong.

_I bet I could be a better human than a naturally born one. This is not so hard. _

He flipped the page and sooner or later came upon an advertisement that caught his attention.

He _did _severely miss his normal body, but he wanted to try out some human costumes first. For example, getting himself a PlayStation 3 or an Xbox-360.

As long as he was human, why not live it up a little? Get into fights here and there while he was at it.

Blitzwing chuckled, and turned the page.

Fighting made him feel better, and he was good at it too.

* * *

_To be continued…_

_Comments and reviews are welcome! Thank you kindly for reading! Next update coming soon…_


	2. Rules of the Bed

**Author's Note: **A EPIC and massively gigantic THANK YOU goes out to KayDeeBlu for beta reading this chapter! She is such a wonderful and generous person! I thank her from the bottom of my heart for everything she has done for me! She is an inspiration for me to do the best I can. Thank you Kim! -BIG HUGS-

Enjoy this chapter!

Reviews are always a bonus for a writer, it fills me with fuzzy warmness when I recieve them! :P

* * *

Unconsciously thinking was an utterly new and overwhelming experience for a being used to chalkboard blankness when offline…_dreaming_ as the humans called it. Recharging was easy enough. It was as natural as transforming or locking targets on an ill fated Autobot. Unfortunately, such nocturnal occurrences, bizarre as they may be, were unhappily lost to oblivion as soon as one woke up.

Humans were not mechanical.

Astrotrain grunted loudly into his pillow. His mind raced a hundred thoughts a minute, the lingering presence of his dream tickling his memory. Why in the slagging Pit did he have the Autobot symbol tattooed on his forehead? And why for the love of Primus was the yellow and black sundress covering him?

_Why_!?

Astrotrain rolled over onto his back, taking care to do it subtly. Confusion swept through him unmercifully but he didn't dare move. To have Blitzwing wake up in a sudden rage was something he could do without. His shoulder _still_ hurt from the last outburst a week ago.

Astrotrain silently chuckled when remembering his friend lay out the rules of sharing the only bed in the apartment.

"_Rule number one, Astro' buddy," Blitzwing snarled. "Stay on your__side of the bed and I'll stay on mine. If you pass the pillow, I'll snap your hand off."_

"_Rule number two, don't__wake me up. Only if it's important, or you're going to regret it."_

A quick glance at Blitzwing beyond the pillow that separated them, Blitzwing was in the same position he fell asleep in. Wrapped up in the semi-thick blanket, cocooning himself in the only source of warmth. He was a blanket hog and "sharing" was a personal battle between the two men.

Primus, he _really _missed his body.

Deciding it was useless to try to go back to sleep with Blitzwing's snoring, Astrotrain slipped out of bed.

The apartment the two shared was small, and even unlivable by some human high standards. But it suited the triple changers just fine and they didn't complain about it. But once money was steadily being brought in, they would easily move into a bigger apartment and have two _separate _rooms for recharging.

Astrotrain flicked the light switch on and completely lamented the stupid decision. An explosion of florescent lighting harassed his sleepy eyes, and he was momentarily blinded. Once he regained his eye sight, he staggered to the sink and turned the knobs to a warm temperature. Water seeped out of the faucet in drips then gained pressure to a steady stream. Astrotrain laid his hands under the water, enjoying the unique way it and rolled off his hands. Cupping the water, he splashed it over his face, instantly repelling away the sleepiness. When satisfied, he turned the water off and ran a damp hand through his hair. Refusing to look in the mirror, Astrotrain retreated from the bathroom to the kitchen.

Maybe something in his stomach would make him feel better.

Then perhaps, if he felt like it, decking Blitzwing for making him freeze last night would also help.

* * *

Astrotrain laid the local newspaper the kitchen table with one hand and gripped a pink high lighter in the other. His eyes quickly skimmed over anything that started with HELP WANTED or HIRING. When he did find something that looked interesting, he neatly high lighted the outside of the ad in bright pink.

Blitzwing was behind the closed bathroom door, under the shower. Not known for his bright ideas, Blitzwing had specifically said he didn't care what job was had, just as long as it paid well.

Astrotrain knew better about the odds of success when it came to the interview process. Knowing their Decepticon natures of heart, something would go wrong.

Best to keep your options open.

A sadistically fun idea popped in Astrotrain's head, when he was on the subject of options. He still didn't pay Blitzwing back for leaving him freezing his aft off last night.

Setting down the pink high lighter with a chuckle, Astrotrain pushed away the chair and stood up. He carried himself over to the washroom on sly and furtive feet, keeping his footsteps light. Shouldering the door, he turned the knob slowly, and gingerly added pressure. The door swung open without the slightest squeak. Shower sounds and warm mist escaped.

Astrotrain tip-toed in the steamy bright washroom, deciding it would be best to leave the door slightly ajar.

Astrotrain tipped over the toilet lid and didn't expect it to make such a clamor.

"What the slag!?" Blitzwing cried out, clawing at the shower curtain and popping his head out from the shower. His hair was soaked and styled in a wet mowhawk and in the hand in which he held the shower curtain was a Dove Beauty Bar.

He glared at Astrotrain with electrifying hatred.

"Get out," he hissed dangerously.

Astrotrain smirked smugly and fingered the device to flush the toilet. Blitzwing converted his eyes to the toilet, staring at it. Astrotrain's nasty smirk drooped down into a frown.

Didn't he know what happens when you flush the toilet when someone was showering?

"What are you doing!? Get the slag out!"

Astrotrain looked at himself in the mirror and met a baffled reflection. He looked back at Blitzwing, grinning.

"This is for taking the entire blanket last night, you aft!"

Blitzwing watched blankly as Astrotrain flushed the toilet, the suspicion that Astrotrain was going crazy entering his mind.

The flushing lasted a couple of seconds and when the gurgling of the toilet ended, Blitzwing noticed a change in the temperature of the water. It was faint at first, a couple of degrees lower from his favored hot temperature.

As the water became artic cold, Blitzwing shrieked. His skin prickled making the hair on his arms stand up. The shock from hot to freezing water was agonizing.

Blitzwing leaped out of the shower the second Astrotrain sprinted out of the washroom, crackling with laughter. The door slammed shut and Astrotrain leaned all his of weight on the door to keep it shut.

Blitzwing wasn't getting out now. _No way…._

First reason of course was because the ex jet/tank wanted to rip his head off and play zombie soccer. The second reason was that Blitzwing was most likely still naked in the washroom.

And that was something he didn't want to see.

* * *

The two triple changers boarded Bus number 23 and stomped to the back. Blitzwing threw himself into a seat beside the window. Astrotrain took the seat in front of him. A young woman on the opposite side of Astrotrain eyed him nervously, biting her lip. She fidgeted with the ruffle of her skirt and smoothed out the skirt fabric.

"Where are we going again?" Blitzwing grumbled. He looked out the window though his red glasses, sneering at the humans the bus passed.

Astrotrain sighed.

"A job interview."

"How much they pay?"

"Hourly? Not enough."

Blitzwing lashed out and slapped Astrotrain upside the head. Astrotrain snarled and prepared to retaliate with a punch to the nose, when a quick glance around the bus suspended him. The slap had been so loud that it drew sixty percent of the bus's occupants unwanted attention.

Astrotrain look fiercely around the bus, his dirty look given to any who met his eyes. The girl from before slowly closed her mouth and looked away, unlike most of the females on the bus. They watched Astrotrain and Blitzwing longingly, yearning for something out of their league.

"What are you staring at!?" Astrotrain spat.

Blitzwing snickered and crossed his arms. Astrotrain settled himself in his seat and stared out the window. The woman that was fussing over her skirt peeked at Astrotrain and smiled fondly at him.

Their interviews were in thirty minutes. They better make it on time. Or there was going to be human hell to pay because Blitzwing was the closest thing to relieving any anger and frustration out on.

* * *

_Thanks for reading! How will Astrotrain and Blitzwing handle an interview? Stay tuned! Please leave a review! I love receiving them ;) _

_Next chapter coming soon..._


	3. Interviews

**Hey all! Wow, it's been SOO long since I've updated this story. I'm sorry for the massive wait but here it is!**

**I want to say a huge thank you to iratepirate for beta-ing for me. Massive hugs for her. In addition, I dedicate this chapter to both Iratepirate and Taipan Kiryu. Both are very gifted writers and have been good friends to me. **

**So please enjoy this chapter. Please review and favorite. I LOVE hearing your comments and opinions, and I love meeting new fellow fanfic writers and readers :)**

**Astrotraina and Blitzwing do not get enough love so I'm going to make sure they do! :D**

* * *

Blitzwing waited in the lobby of a rather large office building in the financial district of the city he and Astrotrain resided in. It was just after noon and humans in business suits, crisp dress shirts and skirts were weaving in and out of the flesh bag traffic known as lunch hour.

Blitzwing donned his ever present scowl. He was angry, (of course) with Astrotrain for a number of reasons. Number one reason was that Blitzwing said to rendezvous an hour _before_ lunch hour began and he was slagging late. Reason number two was the fact that the stupid slagger arranged interviews with humans looking for positions completely out of their league. How the slag did Astrotrain come up with the bright idea to apply for a position as a telemarketer?

Did Blitzwing give off the impression that he could pull off calling humans and trying to sell them junk? Blitzwing was no salesman, that was Swindle's forte after all.

The interviewer had made Blitzwing read a slagging _script, _for primus sake. The human said to sound "pleasant yet professional" and to respond to any negative feedback "in stride and to use good customer service skills to turn the situation around to benefit both parties."

You know how that conversation went?

* * *

_Blitzwing fidgeted with the paper in his hands and he glanced one more time at the human sitting across from him. The human nodded in encouragement and gestured with a sweep of a hand._

"_Now, Brian. We'll act out the call as if you were doing this in real life. I'll play the part of the customer while you are the telemarketer. Don't be nervous now, I just want to see how good you are with your sales and customer service skills."_

_Blitzwing frowned. This all seemed slagging stupid._

"_Ready, Brian?" the human asked. Blitzwing nodded. The human held his hand up to his ear as if to imitate their primitive communication devices._

"_Hello?"_

"_Uhh." Blitzwing swallowed hard and shivered in disgust. He read the introduction of the script. "Hello, may I speak with Mr...," Blitzwing hesitated, not knowing whose name to plug into the blank spot. The human across from him tilted his head slightly and frowned. "Mr. Allan Train." Blitzwing almost growled._

"_I am Allan Train. May I ask who is calling?"_

"_My name is Brian...Wilson-" His human name was still foreign in his mouth and it revolted Blitzwing to his core that he was replacing it for his rightful name. He continued to read. "-and I am with Rogers Mobility. Are you happy with your phone service's data plan?"_

"_Now that I think about it, I am actually unhappy and unsatisfied with my data plan."_

"_May I ask who your phone provider is?"Blitzwing smirked. This was not so hard after all. _

"_I'm with Virgin Mobile."_

"_Well, Mr. Train. If I could please have about five minutes of your time I can discuss the special offers that Rogers is promoting this month. For only $55 dollars a month you will be given unlimited evenings and weekends starting from 9:00 pm. This plan includes 4GB of memory for your smart phone and Unlimited Social Networking functions with the addition of one other feature. These features include: unlimited text messaging, unlimited local incoming and outgoing calls, doubling your minutes or 6pm early Evening calls."_

"_Wow, that sounds very impressive. What are your other options?"_

_Blitzwing continued to read from the script and with each sentence his confidence grew and grew. There was no doubt in his mind that he was going to get hired by this human. His tone of voice could have been more upbeat and positive, but asking that of him would be asking Optimus Prime and Megatron to hug out their differences. It was never going to happen in million stellar cycles. _

_Before Blitzwing knew it he had completed his first task, and with some level of success. _

"_Very good, Brian. Although your tone of voice and demeanour seemed very aggressive and standoffish. Overall, a good start, but try to sound more pleasant and upbeat. Now I am going to test your customer service skills. Are you ready?"_

_Blitzwing grimaced. "Yes."_

_The interviewer smiled. "Great! Let's begin. Just quickly read through the first introductory paragraph again and stop where you ask if I am interested in your services you are giving."_

_Blitzwing frowned but read through the desired text. _

"_-Are you happy with your ph-" just as Blitzwing was going to complete the last of his sentence, the interviewer cut him right off._

"_Umm, excuse me but I'm not interested in what you're trying to sell me."_

_Blitzwing felt his skin prickle and his spine straighten. His eyes narrowed into slits and his teeth snapped shut. For a moment he lassoed the swirling serpent that was his anger and suppressed it into a small, ignorable amount. But something in that small moment, the part of him that had spent millions of vorns as a Decepticon, that part couldn't help but squeeze in. He saw an opportunity to frag someone off and prove his superiority, and he couldn't give that up._

"_Well..._human_ if you feel that way, that doesn't bother me. I don't give a flying frag."_

_The interviewer was caught off guard and foolishly decided to press on, leaning forward towards Blitzwing._

"_How dare you...you are not supposed to talk to me like that, I am a customer!"_

_Blitzwing smirked, now this was getting fun. This stupid flesh bag was only influencing him. Slag the interview, he wanted some fun._

"_You know what? I don't give a slag about that. Humans like you are all the same. You live small, pitiful lives, all wrapped up in the materialistic greed your kind is so fond of."_

_The human's mouth snapped shut and he gently pulled the script from Blitzwing's hands._

"_Out, get out before I call security. What the hell is wrong with you?" _

"_You can call the Autobots for all I care, slagger." Blitzwing stood up abruptly and his chair was knocked over with the sudden movement. Blitzwing stormed out, feeling better than he had been for weeks._

* * *

Blitzwing spotted Astrotrain making his way over to him from across the lobby. His expression was a mixture of anger, annoyance and dread and Blitzwing instantly knew that his fellow Triple Changer hadn't had any luck finding a job either.

When Astrotrain arrived he sneered. "What a waste of time. Let's just go."

Blitzwing smirked. "You made a good impression too?"

The two men exited through the revolving doors and zipped up their jackets as the cold winter breeze hit their bodies.

"Let's just say... I had the femme who was interviewing me leaking lubricants within the first two breems."

Blitzwing laughed. "You made her leak? What did you say?"

Astrotrain snorted. "Nothing, humans are too sensitive. I just stated the obvious. She was exceeding her body limit for weight. It was bothering me the whole time, I kept on staring at her. So after she stopped talking and asked if I had any questions, I asked her why she was so overweight."

They crossed the street, and ducked inside the waiting booth for the Streetcar to take them to the nearest subway station.

"I also stated that with the path she was taking in the way she was consuming her food, she'd be dead within the next five human years."

"That's it? That doesn't seem so bad." Blitzwing replied.

"Well...I could have said it in a nice way."

Blitzwing smirked. "You don't know how to be nice, Astrotrain."


	4. Dirty Talking and Employment

Hey everyone! Thanks to iratepirate for betaing for me! *hugs* This chapter has a bit of swearing in it...so heads up! This chapter is rather long, but has some steamy scenes that you fangirls would love.

If you have any suggestions, or constructive criticism, please don't be a stranger. Please review and favorite!

* * *

Astrotrain was sprawled on his side of the mattress, the covers neglected and thrown off the bed at some point in the night. The air conditioning inside their small apartment was on the fritz with the temperature gradually rising.

Astrotrain felt completely disgusted with himself. His skin was leaking fluids...sweating...as humans called it. His hair was drenched and plastered across his forehead. The stickiness of his fleshy body along with the smouldering temperature of the apartment was agonizing.

_This is fragging crazy! I can't recharge like this!_

Astrotrain glanced over at Blitzwing. Blitzwing was lying on his stomach with his face submerged into the pillow. With this position his snoring was muffled quite nicely, but what was the use! Astrotrain couldn't enjoy it because he was overheating. He felt as if he were back on Cybertron amongst the smelting pools of Polyhex.

_I don't know how Blitz does it. _Astrotrain thought bitterly. _Once his head hits the pillow he's recharging within minutes. AND once he's in recharge there's no way he's coming out. _

With his mind now restless Astrotrain tried to coax himself back into recharge. It took him nearly three breems until his breathing started to slow down...his mind seeping into unconsciousness and closing the distance towards recharge...his body letting go of any tension and forgetting about the heat of the apartment.

_Thud, thud, thud, thud... _

Astrotrain's optics snapped open and his energon pump...heart... whatever the slag it was...suddenly began to hammer inside his chassis and vibrate throughout his limbs. Who was the mindless drone who came up with the bright idea to start banging on things at this time!

His head snapped up, glaring at the wall in disbelief. He then heard a long, lingering moan of a femme from the other side of the wall... The paced banging from the neighbouring apartment continued, as did the occasional moans and shrieks of the femme.

"_You love that don't you bitch. Yeah, you dirty girl."_

Astrotrain suddenly sat up, his mouth agape and optics stretched to their widest diameter.

"_Oh...John! Don't stop! Harder!" _

The recharge berth of the humans next door accelerated its pace and the femme's moans changed into screams of pleasure.

Astrotrain couldn't believe it! He knew what interfacing sounded like, whether it was with a mech or a femme, the music of lustful passion followed the same conductor.

He turned to look at Blitzwing and as always he was deep in recharge, oblivious to what was happening at the moment.

"_AHh...Ahh!" _ This time the moaning came from the mech. There was a pause...

"_Suck it for me, baby...OHH, yeah. Ahhhh...Sarah..."_

Astrotrain got up from the bed; there was no chance he was going to recharge now. The temperature in the apartment was well above the liveable standards. His body was glistening in sweat and he smelt like Blitzwing's unwashed treads after a couple cycles of combating human law enforcements. Astrotrain shuddered at the memory of some of the worst conditions his fellow triple changer's treads used to be in.

Back on the Nemesis Blitzwing would sometimes skip the wash racks just to terrorize Astrotrain with the stench of the gore in his treads. He would usually stay in tank mode too, just to add to the top of things to piss off Astrotrain. It would always end up with Astrotrain having enough and confronting Blitzwing...eventually throwing the tank jet into the wash racks himself.

Astrotrain searched the floor of the apartment for a change of clean clothes and a towel.

The banging continued, with the moans, screams and dirty talk of the interfacing couple increasing in volume.

Astrotrain fled to the wash racks.

He closed the door behind him and stripped of his only article of clothing. He stood naked in front of the mirror. His mind was ablaze with activity and he felt a foreign sensation in his pelvis area.

Astrotrain was disgusted...no...horrified by what he just heard through the thin walls. He was well aware of imagery of the mating rituals of humans...but now he could match the sounds with the act...

He shivered, but not in revulsion but surprisingly in sexual excitement.

Startled by his body's reaction, he glanced down at his waste expulsion port. It was stiff and standing upright. Astrotrain glared at it.

Grumbling darkly to himself, he stepped into the shower and turned it on.

As his thoughts began to wander, he found himself trying to remember the last time he had interfaced with someone.

It had been ages since he had had a good circuit sizzling overload, _and_ in which he was the dominant partner. He remembered a time when he and Blitzwing were overcharged and it eventually led to interfacing. But it was such a power struggle that it just ended up with them both needing to go to the med bay at the end of it.

Femmes were much more enjoyable to interface with, but they were a rarity. Most femmes were smaller, weaker and didn't put up much of a fight when you'd corner them.

Astrotrain smirked, rubbing his scalp with the bar of soap.

Oh, the amount of energon he'd fork up just to be left alone with a femme for just a cycle. There were pleasure bots, of course, but half the fun was lost when the partner was more than willing to be dominated and used for his pleasure.

In this war, there was no room for mushy feelings and budding romances. It would be nice for a short period of time, yes. But it would eventually just blow up in one's face, and more times out of the bunch, quite literally.

His hand guided the bar of soap down his neck, to his collar and over his chest.

There _was_ the possibility of interfacing now, in his new body. Femmes (and even some mechs for that matter) were everywhere and more than willing to throw themselves down at his feet it he chose one. But millions of years of being Cybertronian made him shudder in disgust at the idea.

But his human body was keen on the idea.

He glared down at his waste expulsion port, again. _Shut up_ he thought sullenly.

_I'm not listening to you and your disgusting demands._

Being horny was something he was very used to, but with the help of Skywarp's colourful porn collection he was able keep his desires at bay.

The bar of soap traveled over his well toned stomach and moved back and forth over his abs. His energon pump sank in despair and his air tanks seemed to snap shut.

What was wrong with him? Why in the pit was he feeling all these pitiful emotions? He wasn't a weakling; he was a powerful Decepticon warrior. He was large, menacing, fast and a fortress.

_Used to be..._

The subtle words bubbled up from the depths of his consciousness but they struck him as hard as a punch in the faceplates by Optimus Prime himself.

He _was_ a Decepticon warrior. _Now_ he was a human.

Astrotrain lifted his face up to the direct stream of hot water. It stung his eyes but the pain brought him comfort.

Although his job as the Decepticon space taxi was at times very unfulfilling and dull, he missed his former life. He missed the Nemesis and he missed the sudden rush of transforming from train to spaceship. He missed the weightlessness of space along with the supersonic speed of space travel. His temporary takeover of the Decepticon Army with Blitzwing...his Astroforce...

He missed tussling with Blitzwing and then ganging up on the misfortunate 'con that happened to be in their line of sight.

He didn't know what humans did for fun, and he didn't care for that matter.

He needed to get his body back...but how?

* * *

Blitzwing moaned and stretched. The slagging heat in the apartment was _still_ malfunctioning and making it feel more like a furnace then living quarters.

He sat up, rubbing his face with his hands and smoothed his blonde hair back from his face.

Where the frag was Astrotrain?

"Hey, slagger? Where are you?"

There wasn't space to be hiding, that was for sure. Their quarters were basically a room with a kitchen and a bathroom. The kitchen was three feet away and he could see the wash racks from his position on the bed.

No Astrotrain, maybe he went to go deal with the heating device. He stood and marched his way to the wash racks.

He winked at his reflection, meeting a man in his early 20s. His eyes were deep, vivid amber, so dark it looked red in the florescent lighting.

Lovely spotless skin, high cheekbones with a strong angular chin. Now...if only he had a red visor...

Not that this body was a replacement of his Cybertranian form. His former body was perfect in every way, and he took pride in claiming to be one of the most powerful Decepticons in the universe.

But for now, he would have to make do with his current body.

And what his body really needed was a wash and some food.

After his shower Blitzwing found himself searching the fridge for anything edible.

Astrotrain usually did the cooking, horrible it usually was but edible none the less. The only thing Astrotrain didn't prepare for him was his morning cereal. Now that Astrotrain was away Blitzwing had to rely on himself to create a meal, and he wasn't feeling like cereal.

Blitzwing pulled out cheese, butter and bread. Astrotrain usually made him grilled cheese sandwiches in the afternoon when he wasn't failing in looking for jobs. Although he never actually watched Astrotrain make any of his concoctions, how hard could it be? It was fragging bread and cheese.

Just slap it together and fry it on the stove or some slag.

He took four slices of bread and smeared all eight sides with butter. Once he assembled the sandwiches he took out a skillet and vegetable oil.

Estimating the amount of vegetable oil, he poured enough to completely deep fry his sandwiches. He turned on the burner and waited.

When the temperature was hot enough he plopped one of the sandwiches into the hot oil. The oil instantly burst to life, making Blitzwing back away, hissing in pain from the backsplash of the oil.

How long was he supposed to cook it for?

Two deep fried sandwiches and three minor burns later, Blitzwing settled himself down on the bed.

He took the first bite, examining the textures and flavours. Not bad at all...a bit too oily for his tastes but overall just as good as Astrotrain's.

After consuming the sandwiches he found himself still hungry. He checked the pantry this time and found a box of macaroni.

"Hmm...Kraft Dinner."

He read the directions on the back of the box. It seemed simple enough. Cook the pasta, strain the water, and add the rest of the ingredients.

Cooking was simple slag! He didn't know why Astrotrain made such a big deal out of this.

Blitzwing wondered what else he could make out of the rest of the ingredients in the apartment...

The variety of food was a new enjoyment for Blitzwing, and it was one of the many things he actually liked about being a human.

Humans had such a collection of fruits, vegetables, starches, grains, breads, meats, fish, sea food and much more. Too bad Astrotrain only knew how to cook the most basic of meals.

But for now, he was content with his deep fried grilled cheese sandwiches, morning cereal and Kraft Dinner.

* * *

Astrotrain decided to travel west of the city in terms of looking for employment. He found himself on Spadina Avenue, just a short streetcar ride to China Town and Kesington Market.

He had spent the day going from shop to shop with Help Wanted signs posted on the windows. China Town was a failure, plus he didn't understand slag.

Kesington Market showed better promise but they always needed the same requirements. Resume, government documentation, and education.

As the sun began to set and the weather became chillier, Astrotrain was feeling worse and worse about his chances of getting a job.

Deciding it was useless to continue his treasure-less search he traveled east towards the nearest streetcar stop to go home.

As he came closer to the stop, something caught his eye. A bookstore was situated on the right hand side of the street. In the display window were many books on different subjects. Fake crystals hanging from thin wires hung from the top of the display.

They sparkled and shined, and he spotted a white and black cat resting in the display. He stared at the cat, and the cat stared back.

Maybe one more try, perhaps?

He stepped up towards the store and entered. The inside of the bookstore was bright and warm, with purple walls and artistic photography situated around the room. There were shelves of books lined along the walls and tables displaying random scrap. He was hit with a waft of incense, and his nose twitched in irritation.

"Hi there! Can I help you?"

Astrotrain turned towards the counter where the register stood. The woman working was young, and was smiling genuinely. She had curly black hair, an olive complexion and green optics. Beside her on the counter was a plate of edible snacks...cookies probably. She had her laptop open on the other side of the register with a webpage of some sort open.

"Uh..." Astrotrain felt out of place. Now that he was inside the store and facing this new human he didn't know how to start. His gaze shifted from her face to the cookies and he felt his stomach twist.

"Would you like one?" asked the human. She held out the plate.

"These are double chocolate chip cookies. I received them as a gift from my friend just this afternoon. I couldn't help myself; I've been munching on them all day."

Hesitant, Astrotrain stepped forward and grabbed a cookie. He doubted that they were laced with any toxic chemicals to poison him. But he was still sceptical of this human, no one was nice to a stranger without wanting something in return. He raised it to his mouth, avoiding the eyes of the human as she watched him take the first bite.

It was chewy, soft, flakey, and buttery all at the same time. The chocolate overwhelmed his pallet and his eyes darted to the human.

"Good right?" she asked.

Astrotrain nodded and finished the rest.

"What kinda store is this?" he asked, sweeping an arm around the room.

"Oh! Yes! This is a new age book store. We sell everything from the beginners guide to understanding the Chakra System to books on meditation, yoga, auras, Hinduism and Buddhism."

Astrotrain frowned.

"Chalk..ra?"

"Chakra. You want a book on the Chakra System? Well...we have a lot of those!" The human exclaimed.

"No!" Astrotrain pinched the bridge of his nose and his shoulders slumped. This human talked way too much.

"Then what are you looking for, Sir?

"I-" Astrotrain frowned. He looked around the store and back to the human again.

"A-a Job."

The femme tilted her head to the side, her face suddenly becoming confused.

"Pardon?"

"I'm looking for a job!" Irritation flew off his body like musk although he tried his best to hide it. The woman, however, seemed to sense it. She cocked her head to the left side and stared simply at Astrotrain.

After a moment of not saying anything Astrotrain felt rather weird under her gaze. She studied his face hard, her eyes then shifting from to the rest of his body. She then went back to intensely stare into his eyes.

"How long have you been searching for a job?"

His first instinct was to snap at her and tell her it wasn't any of her filthy business to know. But the truth was he was out of options. He and Blitzwing were jobless, with this month's rent payment zeroing in on them fast.

Their fuel supply was low and Astrotrain couldn't come home _again_ with nothing to show for his hours of effort in searching for a job.

"For a couple weeks now. I haven't had any luck."

"What's your name?"

"Astor- ahh...Allan Train."

The human smiled. She moved from behind the counter and towards the door. She flipped the sign from 'OPEN' to 'CLOSED' and leaned against it with her arms crossed over her chest.

"My name is Sofia, nice to meet you Allan." She nodded her head, "Why did you choose my shop to apply to? I guess from that look on your face a minute ago that you've never heard of this new age stuff we're selling here."

Astrotrain shifted uncomfortably. He didn't know what to say really. When he applied to all the other jobs that had been turned down for it had been all business. What position are you applying for, what's your work experience, what's your educational background, do you have a resume, cover letter, references?

Why was this slagging human talking to him as if he was here to have a conversation about his life?

"I just...had this feeling, I guess."

There was a soft mewling sound and the cat from the display jumped up onto the table displaying various yoga books. The human stepped forward and gathered it in her arms, and looked back at Astrotrain.

"Well do you have a resume on you right now? Since my mom's retired and gone on vacation it's only me running the store. I've actually been thinking about finding another person to help me. Are you looking for part time or full time work?"

There it was.

"I'm looking for anything, probably full time. But I don't have a resume or even government documentation...with this country."

This seemed to perk up her interest. "No documentation? You mean... you're not Canadian?"

_I'm a Cybertronian thank you very much._

"Uhh...not really."

"Oh! You're American then!"

Astrotrain nodded, crossing his arms over his chest. "I...decided to leave because...uhh..."

His complete unpreparedness for his story must have come off as standoffish as the femme backed off the question.

"Hey, if it's personal you don't have to tell me." She placed the cat on the ground and watched it make its lazy way towards Astrotrain. It's purring filled the room and it rubbed up against Astrotrain's leg. The Decepticon reeled in disdain and forced himself not to kick it away.

"I was looking for someone who could...you know, work in this country." Astrotrain's shoulders slumped and he inwardly groaned. What a waste of time.

"But I _could _make this an exception."

Astrotrain's head snapped back up to look at her.

"How about this. You work for me a couple of days for free, like a stage. Based on those couple of days and how well you can work, I'll go on from there and decide whether or not to hire you."

Astrotrain smiled.

"Yeah, that sounds great."

Sofia pushed herself off the door and extended her hand to him. He shook it.

"We open at 9:00 am on weekdays and 8:00 am on weekends. Mondays we have off because they are usually our deadest. So I guess I'll see you tomorrow, bright and early at 8:00 am!"

"Yeah...8:00 am. Thank you, Sofia."

"No problem. Scrambles seems to like you. So, I guess you're not all that bad, ha?"

Astrotrain smirked.

_Oh brainless human, you have no idea._

* * *

_I hope you guys liked it! Yes, I decided the setting of this story will be in my home town of Toronto, Ontario. I just think the triple changers would hate living in a city where everyone is so friendly and upbeat. _

_Next update coming soon...  
_


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